The Five Types of Kids at Every Prep School

Updated: Sep 19, 2018

No matter where you go to school, there is going to be an array of students with different personalities, races, genders, backgrounds, the list goes on and on. Somehow, though, when your buddies are home for winter break, you always hear stories about kids that sound vaguely familiar to you. So no matter how diverse you think your school may be, every prep school seems like it has the same 5 kids.


Travis - Travis is the school’s “Number 1 recruit” for the football team. He loves to walk around campus bragging about his title as a recruit, but in reality, he received the starting QB job by default because his team is that terrible. While he may be ass at football, and a complete brick in the classroom, the guy EATS weights. He walks into the gym with his glossy white, wireless beats, and sleeveless “Fuck Goodell” t-shirt on and makes the bench his bitch. Also, he takes his protein powder completely raw.


Vanessa - Vanessa is the girl everyone knows about. Literally everyone. She comes into school as a freshman about 10x hotter than everyone else and the girl knows it. She spends her weekdays mysteriously hooking up with Senior boys, and spends her weekends ripping her Juul alone in her dorm. As the year moves on, the attention wears off and she begins complaining about how hard her life is, despite the fact that her house back home is sitting on the market for around $6.3 mil. While she has zero work ethic, if you get to know her, she’s a surprisingly smart person.


Pablo - Pablo has “Hala Madrid” in his Instagram bio, so you know he’s the real deal. He loves his Madre, but he loves soccer even more. Though he’s coming around to his third time trying out for the very mediocre varsity soccer team, he remains hopeful, and his dream to play professionally someday is still very much alive. Despite the strict school dress code, you can always find Pablo walking around in a tight Adidas jumpsuit, flashing a cheeky smile to the New York girls.


April - April is that quiet girl in the back of the class that usually keeps to herself but when she does make a remark in the classroom, it shocks everyone. No one really knows where she’s from or anything about her, but the school-wide consensus is that she was raised by wolves as a child. One brave soul met her in the chapel late at night and endured the freakiest hookup in school history.


John - Johns are all over the planet! Just the most average guy you will ever meet. He is a three-sport JV athlete, receives consistent B’s in class, but his mom and sister are somehow 10s. You don’t see him around school too much, but when you do he’ll always awkwardly dap you up, and you just feel bad for him. John is always willing to help you cheat on tests even if you barely know him and his answers aren’t even right.


Chad - If you don’t know what a Chad is, you clearly don’t go to prep school. (See @chadtucket and @totalfratmove for more)

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